by guest blogger, Michael Antonucci, author of www.RunningIsFunny.com

Leg strength tests and body scans are all to the good, but now I was going to get a chance to take a running test. Even those who are relatively new to running have probably heard of an aerobic capacity test – or VO₂ max test. It measures your ability to transport and burn oxygen. If you are able to do this well, your distance running is steady and sure. Do it poorly, and you end up like Pheidippides.

I had a hearty lunch and headed to the small room where exercise physiologist Mike Siemens awaited me, along with a standard treadmill. Many VO₂ max tests involve having sensors pasted to your body and an unwieldy contraption attached to your face. But we had a portable wireless gadget that utilizes a normal heart rate monitor and a standard oxygen mask, sending the data directly to the computer through telemetry – much like a guided missile. Although, in my case, it was more like a Nerf dart thrown by a 4-year-old.

It all hangs on a harness that makes the entire get-up very unobtrusive, enabling you to concentrate on running. Mike explained how the test would work: I would start with a moderate walk, and he would gradually speed things up until I was running at near-top speed, after which he would add incline until I killed myself.

OK, I added that last part, but Mike wanted to make sure I would actually reach my max, but at the same time avoid any macho self-destruction. He mentioned a team of high school track stars who goaded one of their members into exceeding his max and reaching his next physical threshold – barfing.

Off I went. I must have been a little overexcited because my starting heart rate was 86. Walk. Walk fast. Jog slow. Jog. Run slow. Run faster. By minute 12 I was cruising along at my marathon pace, which is 8:30. At minute 13 we accelerated to 8:00 pace. No big deal.

Minute 14 – 7:30, slower than 5K pace for me. Still feel good.

Minute 15 – 7:00. Now I’m cooking. This is like the last 200 yards in a 5K, except I know it’s not going to end.

Minute 16 – My mile best in my old age is 6:36. Mike asks if I want more speed or more incline. I think about it for a second, and picture myself shooting off the back of the treadmill into the wall. “Slope! Slope!” I gasp. Mike adds two degrees of incline.

Minute 17 – “Are you OK?” Mike asks. I summon enough energy to nod my head, but can’t spare the breath to speak. Mike bumps me up to four degrees of incline.

Oh. Dear. God.

Not only am I running for my life, but up an endless sand dune. My mind departs my body, unwilling to share in the breathless agony. It hovers above me, staring at the treadmill timer—exhorting it, willing it to reach the magic number 18:00.

I make it! And fortunately Mike can see that if he adds two more degrees of incline I’m more likely to vault over the handrail and grab him by the throat. He slows the treadmill gradually while I focus on avoiding a facer into the control panel.

I soon experience a “runner’s high,” otherwise known as “stopping.” It feels so sweet.

The Peak Performance Program is also available for cycling, golf, swimming, tennis and triathalon training. This specialized health and fitness package can be added onto any group date.

For a complete list of upcoming 2010 retreats, go to
http://www.IslandGetawaysTravel.com/Wellness%20Retreats.htm